you never know

When the pager goes off, you go.  You call the number, you get the location and you go.  You respond.  You are needed.  You answer.


Making initial visits is really a lot harder.  You knock on a door.  Will they want to see you?  Talk to you?  Will they be busy or hostile or needy or interesting?  You never know.


I made rounds on my floors today. Here's a snippet.


room 1 - Patient was in bed, typing on his lap top, watching TV.  He didn't look receptive for a visit, but you never know.  I introduced myself.  He grunted.  I talked about what chaplains could provide him, he typed.  OK.  I get it.  You are busy. 


room 2 - Patient's wife is in charge.  And she is not happy with the poor quality of Thanksgiving food served in this establishment.  She is irritated and wants someone to blame.  I nod and wish I'd picked another floor, and then she says I can pray with them.  Next thing you know we are all holding hands praying together.  You never know! 


room 3 - Patient's daughter dismisses me during my introduction.  No problem, I slip out.  But she follows me out and we sit in the hall together as she cries and asks advice on breaking bad news to her mom.  Then thanks me repeatedly for coming by.  You never know...


room 4 - Patient immediately invites me in.  So glad to see you!  And then embarks on the most confusing stream of conscience ramblings.  After I escape I read a bipolar diagnosis that helps put it all in perspective.  So glad indeed!  You never know. 


One thing I do know - I'm worn out!


Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Psalm 139:23