Monday, February 24, 2014

imaginary friends


When Jake was little he had a whole slew of imaginary friends.  After reassurance from our pediatrician, Dr. Bill, that this was normal and heathy, we enjoyed the tales and opinions Jake shared from his friends - mainly Mrs. Jacob, Storm and Apple.

I read this recently -Imaginary companions are an integral part of many children's lives. They provide comfort in times of stress, companionship when they're lonely, someone to boss around when they feel powerless, and someone to blame for the broken lamp in the living room. Most important, an imaginary companion is a tool young children use to help them make sense of the adult world.[6]

Its been about 10 years since we've heard anything from Mrs. Jacob. We kind of miss her!  And though Jake has moved on to a whole group of real friends, I feel like my imaginary friend list is growing.  I think the older I get, the more introverted I become.  And the more I get comfort, companionship and direction from a strange list of friends.

Like Mrs Hughes from Downton Abby.  Mrs. Hughes is the head housekeeper and she is in charge of all the female servants. She basically runs the entire servant branch and keeps Downton Abby running smoothly.  I imagine her calm, decisive and capable directions overseeing the Miller house in the mornings.  As the boys are reminded of their chores, as I load the dishwasher and get the washing machine going.  As breakfast dishes are rinsed, lunches and beds made.  I know that if we work together, that when I get home from work, I can be an "upstairs" person and enjoy clean towels and tidy rooms for the evening.

But its not just physical work, that calls for imaginary help.  It's the mental stuff too.  Every day I hunt for my keys, plan my schedule, prioritize and problem solve.  That is when I call in my good friend Olivia Pope to help.  Olivia Pope is Scandal's crisis manager.  She fixes problems, protects her clients and friends and solves crimes all while looking fabulous.   When I am structuring hospice visits, calling my mechanic, squeezing in the boys orthodontist appointments, and tearing around town, I picture Olivia's sharp suits, clues tacked on the wall, and efficient straightforwardness. We can do this Olivia!

When I am dragging my feet to go exercise, I think of Kona on Hawaii 5.0.  She is always surfing or running or climbing.  So what is my excuse? When I have a writing deadline I picture Carrie Bradshaw sitting by her window typing into her white laptop.  I know that she is writing a sex column while I am working on a sermon or a blog.  But we still are just two girls trying to communicate creatively.

..comfort in times of stress, companionship when they're lonely, a tool to help them make sense of the adult world.   yep. sounds good.

I have wonderful, real friends.  They keep me mostly sane.  But there are plenty of times when I need all hands on deck. And that means you, imaginary friends.  I may even reemploy Mrs. Jacob.