Tuesday, November 24, 2009

jack hammered

The time had come for us to sit before a committee and present a case study (verbatim and explanation) showing that we could demonstrate ministry competencies in each of the level one chaplaincy requirements.  My job was to answer all questions throughly and non defensively.  Their job was to fit all the accusations, critiques, suspicions, cross examinations and qualms they had about me into one hour.  To accomplish this they would have to jackhammer intensely on the rocky veneer of my soul.  

That's what it felt like anyway....

Nathan, who was peer representative for each of our case studies, will be glad to vouch that mine was the hardest and most probingly antagonistic.

Maybe not gladly, but if you twist his arm...

I managed to maintain composure until I was dismissed and walked into our safe haven of an office where I saw Cathie and Vicki's caring and sympathetic faces.  And then all the tears that the mean committee wanted to see flowed out.  I told them it was a combination of being the butt of a joke you don't get and being hit by a rogue meteorite.  Something like that....

I told my supervisor that I didn't see the benefit in this style of attackopanels from people who didn't even know me.  He thought it was very beneficial to have a fresh perspective based on first impressions, that I didn't have to accept everything that was said, that he thought I'd done well, and the group had unanimously voted that I passed level one.  So they must not have totally hated me.

hhhmmm.  So maybe it wasn't THAT bad.  But I will still wince whenever I see a jackhammer drilling poor, sweet, defenseless concrete.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17


  1. okay, I'll admit, you're was the hardest...second hardest. Mine was the worst, there's no debate in my mind.

  2. Brings out the mom in me....then I remember how very capable you are and I settle down!