Today is the official start of winter solstice, the first day of winter and the shortest day of the year. It's also my birthday! So even though I was driving down the mountain at 7:00 am as usual, it was a special day full of hugs and presents, texts and calls, silly songs and good wishes.
I've been pondering the phenomenon of being known. I started thinking about this around the end of July when, one morning, our supervisor, Carson laughed at something I said and replied "that is such an Erin thing to say." I rolled my eyes that he could say that with such certainty after only knowing me 6 weeks.
I noticed it when I was struggling with answers for the Enneagram test about my personality and Steve easily answered them for me. Or when Jenn told me about a movie that "I would totally love". Or when my Mom again sent me something to wear that immediately was my very favorite. They really know me!
Two weeks ago one of our evaluators mentioned that he found me to be very quiet and hesitant. Stifling their smirks, all three of my fellow residents quickly spoke up that that was not how they experienced me. After six months of IPR's and working, reading, laughing, crying, eating and learning together, they pretty much know me.
Being known is scary and satisfying. I just saw the quote that says "True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway." Agreed! But being known is more then a nice treat. It's a necessity. I read recently that "we were created with the spiritual hunger to know and be known. That no matter what else you do with your life, no matter how high you climb or how much you achieve, nothing will satisfy that hunger--nothing else."
This next year I want to be more aware of this spiritual need inside me. I want to know myself better, and be more open to being known by others. And I want to celebrate the realization that I am surrounded by people who really do know me and still love me!
Know me God. Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life. Psalms 139:23, 24 The Message
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