miller

Mid afternoon I got a call to be with a patient who was moving down to a palliative care wing in end stages.  I entered the room solemnly expecting unconciousness and grieving family members.  Instead I found a wizened, elderly man propped up in bed welcoming me in.  "I'm  John Miller" he announced.  "Who are you?" 
      "I'm your chaplain, Erin Miller." I replied. 
      "Miller!  Do you think we are related?" he joked. 
     I checked my sheet and the door number to make sure I was in the right room.  Yep. This was the room. "I bet we are brother and sister separated at birth."  I joked back to him.  He liked that.  After a few minutes of sparring, I asked him what was happening with treatment and he explained that his kidneys were failing and that his body was no longer  "cooperating" with the prescribed treatment.  We had several thoughtful moments of conversation before the transport team arrived to move him. "Nice to meet you Chaplain Miller!" he called out.

I caught his wife in the hall and told her I was on call all night and they were welcome to call me at any time.  Then I headed back to the on call room relieved to have such a pleasant visit when I was expecting so much worse.

At 6:00 am the next morning I got called.  John Miller had just passed.  Would I come be with the family?  I rushed down stairs.  His wife told me that he had fallen asleep shortly after getting settled in the new room and had just drifted away.

And this is one of those deaths that I just can't shake.  Because he seemed so full of life.  Because it really caught me off guard.  Because I was one of his last conversations.  Because he engaged me with humor and honesty.  Because he was cheerful to the end.  Because I would have liked another conversation.....

The Lord cares deeply when His loved ones die.     Psalm 116:15 (New Living Translation)