helpless

Every day we visit people who are feeling helpless.  People waiting for surgery or treatments or a doctor's visit.  People who can't get out of bed or use the bathroom by themselves.  People at bedsides or waiting rooms who can't do anything for their loved ones.  Helplessness is an uncomfortable feeling.  It manifests itself in anger or depression or control.

Today I unwittingly embarked on an exercise in helplessness.  Maybe my empathy for helpless patients needed renewing.  Or maybe my car is just really old.

I left work at 5 and began my rush up the mountain.  Steve is in Maryland, so my boys were waiting for me with a friend.  While still in South Carolina I noticed my car lurch a bit.  Pretty sure that is not a good sign.  Then, just as I got the the beginning of the Saluda grade, where two highways come together, I suddenly lost all power.  There was no shoulder on the left lane and no immediate traffic to my right so I coasted across the lanes to a small V between the roads.  I got just over the yellow line and completely stopped.

AAAAHHHH.  What am I supposed to do?    I'm in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of all kinds of traffic, trucks wizzing by me. Both my husband and brother are out of town.  My boys are waiting for me.  Why couldn't this have been a day I carpooled and didn't even get in my car?  I was very clear on the physical, emotional and mental feelings of helplessness.

Then I called Steve.  Then I called a friend who is a mechanic.  He said "transmission." I don't know what a dumb transmission is, but I do know it is not something you want to break.  Then I called Barbara to see if I could borrow a car the next day.  She said she would come pick me up and was instantly on her way.  She is hereby to be referred to in all future mentions as Barbara, the angel of rescue.  Then I called Kim, who was watching the boys.  She said they were jumping on the trampoline and having a blast and she would fix them dinner.  Thank you accomodating Kim! Then I called 5 towing companies and finally found a fatherly, southern man who said a tow truck would be there in 20 minutes and would tow it to a good mechanic.  Thank you solution-oriented towing man!  Then I talked to my worried husband, my concerned in-laws, both brothers, my sister in law (all trying to figure out what they could do to help) and my mom, who had just flown across the country and landed in Charlotte.

At 8:30 I got home.  After a fun 40 minute ride with Barbara, (laughing at what lengths we would go to for a little girl time) a borrowed car, picking up my boys, and trying to take a few deep breaths.  Sometimes it really does take a village, just to get home.  I'm so very thankful for all the help given to me in my helplessness.  And yes.  My empathy is renewed.



Arise, LORD! Lift up your hand, O God. Do not forget the helpless.  Psalm 10:12