beloved

I have always wanted to see a baby be born. 


My brother Ben was born in the back seat of our car on the way to the hospital.  I was 10.  And terrified that my mother was in pain.  So I put my head under my coat, prayed hard, and missed a great opportunity.


My two boys should have been my chance.  But after two and a half hours of intense pushing  I was much more focused on "getting this thing out" than the miracle of birth.  My eyes were grimaced shut, my preganant belly compromising my view and again I missed my chances.


A few weeks ago I pled my case before the director of labor and delivery. She agreed.  I needed to pick a day and they would page me.


I had taken one bite of salad when the pager went off.  I jumped up announcing "I have to go deliver a baby!"


Actually three.


While we were waiting for things to heat up in rooms 3 and 5, the mother in room 8 started yelling.  The medical team converged.  I hung back til the nurse beckoned.  "Erin, if you want to see this you better get in here."  30 seconds later a little baby girl emerged.  Cute and mad.  Amazing.

I got to room 3 with only 15 minutes left in the action.  Contractions and encouragement helped mom squeeze out another little girl.  This one quiet and squinty.  Amazing.

I spent over an hour in room 5.  This was the definition of labor.  Pushing and pulling for every centimeter.  At point I felt dizzy, and then realized that I was holding my breath with Mom to "help" her push.  Finally the baby crowned.  Mom was exhausted.  She was ready to give up, when the doctor took her her hand and had her feel the top of her baby's head.  Fortified with the realization that this was really happening, Mom rallied.  Seconds later a big, healthy boy emerged.  Amazing.

I will spare you the details.  Wow, there were a lot of details.  But it really was one of the most wonderful things I have ever seen.  The absolute miracle of birth.  Three rooms full of tenderness and tears of joy.  Three sets of parents welcoming in these new creatures to their lives.  Three first glimpses at brand new but already beloved babies.  Three proclaimations of the names these babies would be known as for the rest of their lives. 

In Abba's Child, Brennan Manning talks about our need to realize that we are also the center of that much love.
"Living in awareness of our belovedness is the axis around which the Christian life revolves.  Being the beloved is our identity, the core of our existence.  It is not merely a lofty thought, an inspiring idea, or one name among many.  It is the name by which God knows us and the way He relates to us.  Our identity rests in God's relentless tenderness for us revealed in Jesus Christ."

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1