thanksgiving

Today is my 45th Thanksgiving.  If I try to look back at them, they run together.  Into a stream of happy memories and trusted traditions.  Mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie.  Dad's personalized pilgrim face name cards. Mom's Alpine Casserole.  Turkey Trots.  Raspberry-Cranberry Jello.  Trips to California and to Maryland. Pecan pie.  Matt and Jenn's red dining room. Martinellis.  Hiking at Bent Creek.  Stuffed mushrooms.  Being full and grateful.

In all those forty-five Thanksgivings, 3 distinct memories stand out.  And they are my only negative Thanksgiving memories. Why these?  I don't know. But they ring clear as a bell, make me smile, and remind me so much of what Thanksgiving is all about. 

1.  Football?
I remember being little and loving the I Love Lucy marathons that were on all Thanksgiving day.  I remember Mom cooking and Dad and I watching and laughing.  This was a great holiday tradition and one that I would always enjoy.  Until that one year when Matty reached the age of TV opinions and I found Dad and him watching football.  Which I found irritating and confusing.  Why would any one want to watch football on Thanksgiving?

2.  Nothing?
I remember being a sophomore in college.  My boyfriend broke up with me right before Thanksgiving break.  I remember sitting around a bountiful table, loaded with delicious food.  I was surrounded by my precious family. And when it was my turn to share what I was thankful for I could think of absolutely nothing.  Which is what I said when asked.   "Nothing." (yes, I was a teenage girl.  And yes, a few years later that boy asked me to marry him and has spent the last 24 Thanksgivings with me...)

3.  Non-traditional?
I remember being a young married couple.  It was our first Thanksgiving alone.  And three days before Thanksgiving we had had a miscarriage. We were grieving and out of place and not feeling festive.
Thanksgiving morning when we woke up, we found a brand new mountain bike propped against our front door.  Steve's good friend was loving us the best way he knew how - with gifts and hobbies.  We decided to go see a movie and picked what looked like a romantic comedy.  Meet Joe Black.  It turned out to be a strange, awful death/afterlife story.  We stumbled out of the theater disturbed and decided to redeem the day by making a traditional meal.  Which is when we learned that a frozen turkey at 3:00 pm will do no one any good on Thanksgiving. We had delicious sandwiches with our bubbly.

Strange little dark spots in a sea of good memories. Funny now.  But so filled with the truths that make Thanksgiving so special.

Thanksgiving is about connection and love, not about being the center of the universe.   
           Be generous!
We are surrounded with blessings whether we are thankful for them or not. 
          Be grateful!
The spirit of Thanksgiving goes way beyond traditions or centerpieces or smiles.  It is knowing that nothing can separate us from the love of God.  It is hope.  
        Be graced!

Happy Thanksgiving!