What a question. I told him that I worry about what my boys would do without me. I sure don't want to die. But right now it doesn't cause me a lot of fear. "But, with you just joining hospice, it's more of a reality for you, Mr. Brooks. Are you afraid?"
"I don't think so." He said. "I don't want to either. I know my grandsons will be sad, and I don't like that. But I think I am ready for whatever."
Brave man.
This weekend we were in Maryland. On Sunday, we got to go on a four hour tour of Antietam Battlefield. (great fun for us history buffs!) At one point our guide had us sit behind the fence (pictured) on Bloody Lane. During the Civil War, Union and Confederate soldiers fought for almost four hours on this very road. Casualties, in the end, totaled about five thousand, making this the bloodiest battle fought at Antietam.
Our guide had us picture what it would be like to be hunched down on that road. Listening to the sounds of bullets flying by and wounded men crying out. Waiting for the enemy to crest the hill so we could attack. Knowing our chances of surviving were almost zero.
I thought about the young soldiers. 15 years old, 19, 24. Waiting for their moment.... And then I had to stop thinking about it. It is unimaginable. If dying of old age, in your lovely home, surrounded by a compassionate hospice team is hard, than what do you call Bloody Lane?
Bottom line. Death takes courage. And life takes courage too. Whether we are a hospice patient, a Union soldier, a mom, a chaplain, a student, or a friend - there are always moments where we need courage.
I bought this magnet yesterday at Barnes and Noble. It's on my fridge so I can see it often.
courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow." mary anne radmacher
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