patient is....

My son sometimes starts a sentence with "Not to be mean, but....".   There is really no good ending to a sentence like that.  "Not to be mean, but you look beautiful"?  Never ends that way.  I try to jump in and remind him that the first part of that sentence won't excuse what ever mean thing comes next. 

With that being said.... Not to be mean, But      I will not miss the hospital pager one bit.  It is a tiny, incessant, inconsiderate dictator.  I occasionally have fantasies about throwing it out the window or stomping it to pieces.  It summons us to tragic accidents, drawnout deaths and pharmacy assistance phone calls in the same breath.  It gives me an adrenaline surge even if I'm not on call and don't have to respond. 

Vicki has reminded us all year to surrender to the pager.  Just to relax and be open to whatever it brings.  When I do this, it helps.

Nathan has reminded us all year to not immediately give into to the pager's demands.  "Why sit in the trauma bay for 15 minutes waiting for the ambulance, when you can finish your lunch, stroll down, and arrive at the same time?" This drives Cathie crazy.

Lately the pager has given us a little comedy.  I'm guessing that the communication desk sends a complete page but we only get the first part of it.  This leaves our weary, twisted, creative minds to imagine many possibilities as we make our way to the facts.  Vicki has already captured this mental game in her great blog.  But since I just got two such pages, I wanted to share them with you also.

Trauma:  40yom is
wishing he'd worn a helmet?
now wiser about playing with guns?
a momma's boy?
fine, chaplain can go back to sleep?

Code stemi:  Patient n
never arrived?
needs spiritual care?
neuro stat?
ned smith?

Trauma: fall from
chair?
roof?
cliff?
grace?

Chaplain wishes
people would finish their sentences!
the pager would stop ringing!
mopeds were illegal!
she understood everything right now!
you peace and prosperity!

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7