Afterwards.....
After 14 months of CPE. After 150* deaths, 42 overnights, 108 IPR's, 59 Advance Directives, 56 Supervisions, lots of verbatims, team meetings, PAG sessions, and inter-office huddles. After hundreds of lunches around the cafeteria tables, and over a thousand visits. After laughter and tears and frustrations and ah ha moments.
(*very approximate numbering)
Afterwards. I think of the people I love dearly that I didn't know 14 months ago. I remember the patients that moved me, their stories becoming part of my story. I reflect on the classes and discussions and ideas that enhanced and altered me. I am forever indebted to and grateful for the people who supported me with love and phone calls and encouragement every step of the journey. I am proud of the skills I've learned and the confidence I've gained. And despite the long hours and grueling self work, I'm so very thankful for this opportunity.
Afterwards. I see how, right at the end of four units of CPE, I got the chance to stay for one more summer unit. And two days before that unit ended I got the job offer I had been wishing and hoping for. Afterwards it looks so smooth and easy. I wish I could have known that, and skipped the months of frantic hair pulling and panicky doubt.
Afterwards. After On Call - The Spartanburg Year. I've got a week off. A week to do all the things I didn't do all year because I was driving down the mountain every day. A week to sleep in or get up early, to putter and organize, to cook a little and drive my boys to school. To see a movie with my friends and eat lunch with my sister in law. I am very excited about this week!!!
And then I start over. A new team, new buildings, new patients, new things to learn. Maybe a fresh blog. The beginning of a new Afterwards. But as CPE guru Robin says "You take everything you've learned with you to the next place."
I hope so!
The faithful love of the Lord never ends! God's mercies never cease. Great is God's faithfulness; with mercies beginning afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; that's where I will place my hope!” Lamentations 3:22-24
after WORDS: you fill the world with so much light and hope. thank you for sharing your experience with me.
ReplyDeleteforever your yaar, in that fine balance - xxoo Vickster
I am so happy that you have finally made it to the afterwards! And SO happy for the new job. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. Thank you. And I'm fair sure you had more on calls than approximated above. I'm guessing somewhere in the 60s. Hope the new job is going great!
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