I'm spending all my Monday nights this fall at Gardner Webb University. That's me on the second floor of the School of Divinity in a class called The Life and Work of a Minister.
Our teacher is the wonderful, practical, creative Lisa Allen. But on the first night of class, Dr. Allen told us we had to learn each other's names. She talked about how taking the time to learn a name is an act of caring. At least I think that's what she was saying. I was too busy looking around at the 26 strangers sitting in the room and panicking to listen to her. Then I realized that she couldn't be talking to me. I am bad at remembering names. And while these students have many classes together, eat in the cafeteria together, play in the gym together, I just drive 3 hours one time a week and rush in and out. So whew. I was off the hook. I sat back and enjoyed the introductions as they went in one ear and out the other.
Until week three of class. When Dr. Allen asked us to take out a piece of paper and list every one's name. She was serious about this? Oh dear. I knew two names. And one I wasn't sure about.
Tianna, Faith
I guess I wasn't the only one fumbling. Because we went around the room again. Reintroducing ourselves, sharing our church affiliation, current employment and nick names. As we went, I frantically made a seating chart with names and identifying reminders in case people moved. And I started practicing during class when people spoke up.
Toni, Kevin, Horace, Tony,
Week four I walked into class and two people greeted me by name. It struck me how comforting the sound of my name was in an unfamiliar place. We broke into small groups and talked about family scripts and myers briggs testing. "Erin, are you an introvert or extrovert?" a group member asked. Another person asked how long my drive from Asheville took. I stopped feeling invisible and starting feeling like I belonged here.
Jefferson, Tyler, Sherin, Jo, Rachel, Sherri,
Last week I mentally went around the classroom practicing names. I realized that Hugh was missing. Then remembered that he was having surgery today. I wondered how he was doing and said a prayer for him. I admired how much detail Travis put into his presentation. I noticed how Rachel takes the time to respond to each of our comments on blackboard. And I thought about this quote I love from Scott Peck. "The principal form that the work of love takes is attention. When we love another person we give him or her our attention; we attend to that person's growth."
Kimberlee, Keith, Elizabeth, Chelsea, Onika, Hugh, George,
Tonight we celebrated All Saints day. We shared stories about a person who impacted us and has passed on. Then Dr. Allen asked us to raise up our hands as she prayed for us and the ones who have inspired us. Twenty six fellow students, learning to minister better, healthier. Twenty seven of us standing together, hands raised, heads bowed in prayer. Coming from twenty seven different places to this room. And for these three hours growing more connected, more intertwined.
Gerald, Anthony, Jeremy, Keno, Travis, and Terry. Just to name a few of my friends....
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1
have mercy, once again i am so inspired-this time to give the gift of attentiveness to those i encounter. you know my name and always give that gift to me!!! M2
ReplyDeleteI am not even kidding--this post made me cry. Oh my goodness--such a powerful story. And it's so try--that learning someone's name IS an act of caring. It also reminds me of a friend of mine who went for a job interview to be a nursing home administrator. When he walked in and sat down, everyone went around the table introducing themselves. When they were done, the leader of the interview said, "As a nursing home administrator, it is critically important for you to learn the names of the residents. So our first question for you is...tell us each of our names." My friend fumbled for a minute and said, "I'm sorry. I don't know." And then they thanked him for his time and sent him on his way. Can you imagine?? That story had a profound impact on me and it happened about 20 years ago.
ReplyDeleteThis one has called me to be a better name rememberer-so inspiring! M2
ReplyDeleteF.N. was here. :-) One of my (many ) favorites of your blogs.
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