I feel like I really did Christmas this year. I started early, right after Thanksgiving, pondered presents, then bought and wrapped and shipped them. Christmas music played in the car and in the house every day. We decorated with our traditional Christmas decorations - the boy's advent calendar and stockings, our nativity figures, my little Mexican Santa candle, red and green mugs for hot chocolate, sparkling stars tucked in the poinsettia plant and icicle lights on the eves outside. Our family Christmas ornaments bedecked the tree.
In the last few weeks our home has been filled with dear friends and precious family, parties and food, laughter and conversation. It has been an incredibly rich holiday season.
The morning after Christmas, my son said he felt sad to have it all over. The anticipation, the surprises, the plans -done. Long, eventless and cold, January looms. He has post Christmas blues.
I am just the opposite. I wake up on December 26 with a feeling of euphoria. Like I just crossed the finish line of a half marathon. I did it! I succeeded! I survived! If I had my way, I would put Christmas away the night of the 25th. Ornaments wrapped, pine needles swept up, boxes and wrapping hauled to the dumpster. Everything back in the containers, then back to the crawl space for another year. My family makes me wait until New Years. So the mess stays for a few more days.
In chaplain training we talked a lot about becoming comfortable with the mess. An untimely passing, an hysterical family member, a demanding staff member, frequent grief. More importantly, we practiced being comfortable with our own mess. Our shadows, baggage and flaws. The parts of ourselves that we want to hide. But those very parts are what remind us of our need for a Savior and of God's continuous grace.
In Romans 3:23-26, Paul wrote a new perspective on the Christmas story. "Since we’ve ...proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ." The Message Bible
I think that is why Andy Rooney's quote caught my attention this year. It reminded me that I am a glorious mess. A glorious mess redeemed in a manger, in a stable on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly! Long after the tree is down I want that pure gift of Christmas to stay with me, unpacked and celebrated all year long.
Erin, I am always blessed and my soul fed by your blogs. Thank you for taking the time to write down your heartfelt and beautiful insights!
ReplyDeleteI too have just recently learned to accept that "messy" part of myself. The screaming voice in my head telling me what an idiot I am is quieting. Maybe it's something about the 40's that brings this quiet acceptance of both our good traits and our flaws? I don't know--but I like this side of me much better. It's easier to live with. :) And Christmas at your house? It sounds like a whole lot of spectacular. Maybe next season I'll come live with you and bring my crew with me! ha
ReplyDeleteYes, an incredibly rich holiday was had at your home, in all its festiveness this year! You will be amazed to know that our tree with all its beauty and lights are still up…..couple more days….
ReplyDeleteit will be all packed away for another year, except a small nativity piece that will remain up to remind us of all that is good and glorious about the season all year long. M2