This week I talked to my patients about life
during the Great Depression.
Ruby was six years old when the economy crashed.
She remembers that her dad built a wagon for her so that she could help
out. She and her little brother would pull it down to the train yard and
pick up pieces of coal that dropped from the trains. Sometimes train
workers threw chunks of coal down to them. The coal they collected kept
their stove going during the winter. If they didn't get enough coal they
drug the wagon to a nearby corn canning factory and loaded the wagon with corn
cobs. One way or another they kept the fire burning for mom to cook
dinner.
I asked Ruby if she was stressed about being so
poor. She said she doesn't remember being stressed at all. She does
remember the neighbor children coming over once a week to listen to a program
together on the radio. And laying in the grass watching lightening bugs
and swimming in the river.
Ella's mother died the first year of the
depression. Ella was in the middle of 7th grade but her father pulled her
out of school and arranged for her to marry a friend's son, because he couldn't
support her anymore. Ella was 14 when she got married. She had her
first baby at age 15. Then 7 more babies. I asked Ella if her young
husband was good to her. She said "No. He was a drunk from the
very beginning and money was always tight." And then she added with
a smile, "But we sure had wonderful kids."
Emmitt was 20 when the depression hit. He
remembered being desperate to get a job and help his family. He heard of
a man hiring and headed over. When he got there the waiting room was
packed with qualified men all equally desperate. Emmitt stood on the
porch trying to decide what to do next when he saw the owner drive up. Emmitt
ran down to the man's car and pleaded for a chance to work. The man asked
"are you 25?" "Yes" Emmitt lied. "OK" the
man relented. "Come back tomorrow and you can start."
Emmitt kept that job for the next 37 years, proud to be employed and not
wanting his boss to ever regret taking a chance on him.
One more. In the 1930's in Asheville you
could get a bag of cornmeal for 25 cents. Mary's family was barely
surviving. One Tuesday night there was no food for dinner. No
breakfast on Wednesday morning either. Mary's mother realized they
couldn't wait til dad's payday on Friday. She bundled Mary up and asked
her and her sister to walk to their aunt's house 2 miles away. "See
if she will lend you one quarter, and then you can buy a bag of cornmeal at the
store on the way home." Mother asked. Mary and her sister walked
down Louisiana Street toward town. One mile down the road Mary spotted
something green laying the the side of the road. She ran over to it and
picked up 3 dollar bills wadded up. 3 dollars!! They ran straight
to the store and bought cornmeal, meat and some potatoes. Then they ran
home with their packages. Mother fixed a big lunch meal and then made
everyone clean up for church that night to show their appreciation to God for
his gift.
All week I heard tough stories. Abusive husbands,
empty pockets, hard times, growling stomachs. But what I heard more of
was how much they loved their kids, how great their mother's pie was, how God
always came through, how good the honeysuckle smelled on the barn fence and how
bright the stars were.
The word that keeps coming to my mind is
Resilience. "Resilience is the ability to work with adversity in such a
way that one comes through it unharmed or even better for the experience.
Resilience means facing life’s difficulties with courage and patience –
refusing to give up. It is the quality of character that allows a person or
group of people rebound from misfortune, hardships and traumas.
Resilience is rooted in a tenacity of spirit—a
determination to embrace all that makes life worth living even in the face of
overwhelming odds."
Though the country was bankrupt and money was
scare, many in this generation were stockpiling experiences of character
building, thankfulness, memories and love for their family.
From what I'm reading about how to become more
resilient - it starts now. Investing in relationships that allow us to
lean on each other for support when we need it. And living in
gratitude for all good things we can count. “If we don’t allow ourselves
to experience joy and love, we will definitely miss out on filling our
reservoir with what we need when. . . . hard things happen.”
