He was already dead when I got there, rushing to respond to a patient-in-decline call on a brand new patient we hadn't met yet. Our nurse was on her way, but it would be awhile. So we sat on the floor in the hall, next to Bert's body, right where he had fallen. And in the shock and grief that comes with such an abrupt loss, Gloria talked about Bert. High School tough guy. Vietnam vet. Builder. An addict. Marriage problems. How he'd been a good father and a really good grandfather. She talked and cried and laughed. And I found myself patting Bert's leg occasionally so he wouldn't feel like we had forgotten he was there on the floor between us.
Two days later Gloria called me and asked if I would speak at Bert's memorial service. It would be casual, she said. After years of having nothing to do with church, Burt had been baptized a year ago. He loved the story of the prodigal son. "Can you just talk about that?" she asked.
Well, that was a first for me. But then nothing about this experience had been "traditional".
So I drove back up the gravel road to the small house with a large deck around it. On one side of the deck was a barbeque pit, on the other side, big coolers of beer and 30 plus people with folding chairs looking for the right spot to sit.
Here are the basics of what I said:
I met Bert the day he died. You all have known him for so many years. I can't wait to hear what you are going to share about him in just a minute. Here is what I know about Bert. I know that he built this wonderful deck we are all sitting on. I know he loved his family and friends. Each of you here. And I've been told that he loved the story of the prodigal son. I do too. I want to share a couple things I love about this story. Maybe they're the same things Bert loved about it.
1. I loved that it is a story for all of us. Everyone of us can relate in someway to the prodigal son. We all know what its like to make dumb decisions and to head for the far away country. The Bible makes it clear that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We all know what it's like to wake up unhappy and say what am I doing with my life? We all know that tug in hearts that pulls us home to the Father's house. This story levels the playing field for each one of us.
2. I love that the story makes it so clear that the whole time the boy is away, the Father is missing him. Waiting and watching. Longing for him. "It is God's kindness that leads us to repentance." Bert had so many ups and downs. Times when he felt God's presence. Times when he was angry. Times when he felt lost. God never lost sight of Bert. God never gave up on Bert. God never stopped loving Bert.
3. I love the part where the boy comes home. Dirty, smelly, ashamed, with a long speech - I am not worthy to be called your son.... "But the father wasn't listening. The father was running to meet him. The father was hugging and kissing him. The father was showering him with gifts and yelling to his friends "My boy is home!" What better picture of God do you need? That is a God we can all trust Bert too. We can all rest knowing Bert is in that God's hands.
I prayed. Then everyone got a chance to share. We filled the late afternoon with sounds of friends and family reminiscing, sharing, laughing and crying together. About Bert's famous Chicken Pot Pie, the disasterous pool Bert built for his grandchildren, how people called him The Discovery Channel because he had an opinion about everything. It went on for over an hour, before the grill got fired up and bottle tops began popping. Another journey's end party for another beloved prodigal.
A warm day with a cool breeze. Strawberries, lemonade, and barbecue. Dear friends I hadn't seen in ages. (Robin, Vicki and Leah) And a passionate conversation about books. Close to a perfect afternoon! Robin had some personal growth titles he knew I'd be interested in, like When The Past is Present. I brought Vicki and Leah Second Wind: One Woman's Midlife Quest to Run Seven Marathons on Seven Continents. We all love stories about women adventuring to find themselves. And for Robin Foreskin's Lament - since he enjoys the "escaping a troubled religious past" genre. Oh yeah, it's summer.
There is something about summer that promises me new books. Longer days, fewer tv shows, two sunny beach weeks. It's time. Most of the year I read a lot of hospice and spiritual books as part of my work. But summer gives me permission to branch out, time to explore, and even indulge in a little junk food reading. For the last few months I have been stockpiling books in my Amazon cart. I've purchased books I couldn't resist after wandering around in Barnes and Noble. I have collected other people's favorites. And now my stack has grown to intimidating heights.
My sister-in-law tells me I've got an addiction. "Just go to the library." She is one to talk! She just keeps her book pile neatly hidden on her Kindle. But if I needed any validation that I'm not the only one who loves to be surrounded by books, I was introduced to this awesome site. BookShelfPorn. If these pictures don't make you want to read, I don't know what will.
And one final piece of advice from the above site, to make us book worms feel desirable.
"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve." A Girl You Should Date via @brainpicker
As of today here is my stack. Here are the stories that will hopefully challenge, inspire, entertain and enrich me in through the summer.
Two novels -
The Expats, by Chris Pavone. "Smart, clever suspense, skillfully plotted" says John Grisham. I bought this for Steve because of the title and promise of suspense. Then read the front flap and knew I would have to read it first.
And Jennifer Weiner's latest Then Came You. I bought this for my mother-in-law's beach reading, and am sneaking a read through first.
Two "life changers" - To The Last Breath. A story of bucket lists and going to extremes by Francis Slakey.
And Wild. From lost to found on the pacific crest trail by Cheryl Strayed. Recommended and lent to me by my mom, who knows a book I'd love when she sees it.
Some history - Lady on the Hill. How Biltmore Estate became an American Icon. I peeked at this at a patient's house and was intrigued to learn more about my neighborhood.
A memoir - This Is Not The Story You Think It Is... A season of unlikely happiness by Laura Munson. It caught my eye...
A travel guide (of sorts) An Idiot Abroad, the travel diaries of Karl Pilkington. I bought this for my brother after he got us turned on to the show. But again, am compelled to read it before I gift it....
Two food books - Wheat Belly and Beat Sugar Addiction Now. Because they just seem to hit the nail on the head.
Then two inspirational-
Love Does, discover a secretly incredible life in an ordinary world. by Bob Goff. A fascinating Christian whose stories have already captivated me. Jake is going to read this book with me.
And Seven Sacred Pauses, living mindfully through the hours of the day. By Macrina Wiederkehr. I got introduced to this book through the book 7, and realized I had to read the whole thing.
If you are still reading this, I know you have some book suggestions for me. Though you know I really shouldn't buy another book until 2013....but oh well. Tempt me...
